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View Full Version : the 21th century addiction with ravages nature, duped toilet paper :)


raaaid
09-28-2011, 04:11 PM
the clhorine of toilet paper combined with the natural oils produces an acid which causes itches

the more you use toilet paper the more you need so your bum doesnt itch :(

as a kid you dont use it

then a friend offers you a free sheet

then you have to pay for it and when you notice your using half roll each dump :(

trumps
09-28-2011, 04:49 PM
you might want to get that checked out!

raaaid
09-28-2011, 04:53 PM
oh theres nothing wrong with me as long i keep using the paper

but come on can there be anything worse than not havinng paper?

thats worse than laking a ziggy in your break

well i think i started using at seven or 8

didnt need it before:rolleyes:

but cant live without now

BadAim
09-28-2011, 05:05 PM
Raaaid, I'm not sure if your the craziest SOB on the planet or if you just like messing with our heads. Either way the only way I can explain why I read your posts is that I have some sort of strange addiction to being mental tortured.

AndyJWest
09-28-2011, 05:19 PM
Ah! The great toilet-paper conspiracy is revealed at last! Perhaps we should do what our cousins the Chimpanzees do, and use leaves instead - though I'd recommend taking a close look at what you are using, as these (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle) might be less than ideal. :o

Of course, for Tommy in the trenches during WWI (and probably Fritz too), there was plenty of bumph (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bumf) available for the purpose. :grin:

raaaid
09-28-2011, 06:39 PM
man if you do it properly it dropes perfectly

if you sleep properly eat properly and do a proper life you sith proeprly

Madfish
09-28-2011, 07:38 PM
What?! You only started using it at 7 or 8?! What the heck do Europeans do before that, just let it hang and get crusty? And you call Americans unrefined...

Brave words considering it was invented here. :cool:

Also the EU is pushing the "green trend" to the limits already - I doubt most toilet papers are that hazardous over here. In fact I can't even relate to the issue - I'm not even sure what kind of "oils" he's talking about that are coming out of his bum. It sounds a little suspicious if you ask me :-P

Madfish
09-28-2011, 09:20 PM
I don't know of such a group. In fact I'm not even sure where you're from but hopefully not the US as hygiene in Europe is generally much better than the US. :-P
Sure there is a difference between Sweden and Spain or whatever but the same goes for all continents, countries and humans out there.

Humans are individuals and just walking down the streets you'll find that many have different habits etc.
Some love to wipe their butt all day long and others are using water (bidet) instead e.g.

In fact wiping your butt with toilet paper is very ancient and not clean at all. :cool: All you do is spread the germs and rub all dirt into your skin cells until you think it's clean. Well, it's not. :grin:

So raid, simple solution: use a bidet instead, hehe

AndyJWest
09-28-2011, 10:40 PM
I'm told that the height of luxury is to wipe your behind with the neck of a swan - though I'd not try it with a live one...

Robotic Pope
09-29-2011, 12:23 AM
Really? How on earth would you get the swan to flush away? Raaaid you too must have trouble with toilet blockages with all that toilet paper you seem to be addicted to.

major_setback
09-29-2011, 12:44 AM
Diet. If people ate more leaves and twigs and wallpaper there would be no need for toilet paper.
Insects, straw and grass are an essential part of a healthy diet.

:-)

Really, meat and chocolate are very much to blame. Eat more wood!

Wolf_Rider
09-29-2011, 08:06 AM
raaid..

http://www.familyhealthdiary.co.nz/files/MarchApril2009/Combantrin-TOP.jpg


its not the paper

raaaid
09-30-2011, 02:25 PM
oh for gosd sake i have no worms

i have perfect health

in fact my health is so good i smell like flowers :)

when i get in an owe feeling it gets really intense

ive just had a coffe in the bar and agirl asked me hey you use nenuco that baby parfume

i said i used none its natural :)

edit:

and if you belieeve toilet paper is not addictive try to do woithout for 2 days and tell me about itches and withdraw symtoms

Ze-Jamz
09-30-2011, 02:48 PM
oh for gosd sake i have no worms

i have perfect health

in fact my health is so good i smell like flowers :)

when i get in an owe feeling it gets really intense

ive just had a coffe in the bar and agirl asked me hey you use nenuco that baby parfume

i said i used none its natural :)

edit:

and if you belieeve toilet paper is not addictive try to do woithout for 2 days and tell me about itches and withdraw symtoms

Raaid seriously dude.. I can assure you im not addicted to toilet paper..

And I wouldn't like to smell like a baby either fyi..thats just wrong :)

raaaid
09-30-2011, 03:38 PM
well try a week without and tell me

its not that i smell like sissy flowers naturaly its that i do intensely when in owe feeling :)