Your rig is fine! Dont worry! The game needs tweakening!
I used a similare rig to yours Intel I5-760 running at stock 2.8Ghz with Win 7 32 bit and 4gigs of DDR ram and GTX 280 card..
Now, I upgraded to win7 64 bit and the game runs alot better only after that update (due to the access of the extra gig of ram 64 bit allows you)
I then proceeded to overclock the I5-760 from stock 2.8Ghz to 4Ghz (obviously buying a really good CPU cooler as well)
Now the game runs really really well! And this is with a GTX280. I believe that if the promised 50% increase comes with the new patch and if I later on get a GTX 590 i will have a rig that runs the game perfectly fine!!
But face it, you have a good CPU but you need to update to win7 64 bits to access more than 3 gigs of ram no matter have much have installed! and a GTX260 is on the lower end for this game!