I'm going to stick tin foil on my head, disconnect from the internet as Valve is trying to take over the global economy via my pc and steam...probably. Go live in a cave somewhere, put my fingers in my ears, shut my eyes really tightly and whine some more about conspiracies (the Cornwall conspiracy is my favourite) which don't really exist but in my mind they do.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE, CAN'T YOU SEE IT?
Either that or grow a beard and buy an Apple Mac as you can't run anything remotely bad on 1 of those beauties.
Oh and btw, I've never received any emails from Valve\Steam with any offers except to tell me when I've bought something. They must not like me or something.