I play in all modes, on the X-Box 360, though arcade is the only mode (pre-long awaited patch) to allow all the true historical dogfight aerobatics to be performed without coming to grief.
Realistic mode's physics are even more unstable and screwed up than simulator, so I prefer to fly either arcade or simulator.
Basically though, folks not used to peforming complex aerobatic stunts should stick to simulator mode and folks who don't have quick reactions and steady hands on the controls needed should stick to arcade mode.
You'll find me in all modes on the X-Box 360.
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