Joke

[JG52Krupi]

LOL Rick thanks!

[RickRuski]

Milk and Eggs


This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one
carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(To the ladies, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!)

[RickRuski]

A Drover walks into a bar
with a pet crocodile by his
side.

He puts the crocodile
up on the bar
turns to the astonished
patrons and says....

"I'll make you a deal.
I'll open this crocodile's
mouth and place my
manhood inside.
Then the croc will close his
mouth for one minute".

"Then he'll open his mouth
and I'll remove my unit
unscathed.

In return for witnessing
this spectacle,
each of you will buy me a
drink".

The crowd murmured their
approval.
The man stood up
on the bar,
dropped his trousers,
and placed his Credentials
and related parts in the
crocodile's open mouth.

The croc closed his mouth
as the crowd gasped.

After a minute,
the man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
crocodile really,really hard
on the top of its head.

The croc opened his mouth
and the man removed his
genitals unscathed as
promised.


The crowd cheered,
and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again
and made another offer....
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's
willing to give it a try."

A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while,
a hand went up in the
back of the bar.

A blonde woman timidly
Spoke up..........
"I'll try it - Just don't
hit me so hard
with the beer bottle!"

[He111]

Lol!

.

[Trumper]

.
GOLF AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf ! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

Golf is harder than baseball. In Golf, you have to play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing Golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip ........ your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ...neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about Golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage, If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
SENIOR'S DAY AT THE COURSE

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex...
#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07... Foursomes are encouraged, even some threesomes.
#06... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05... Three times a day is possible.
#04... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03... If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.
#02... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#01... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!

[RickRuski]

Trumper,

Sounds you are an old golfer like me, way to go.

[Trumper]

Originally Posted by RickRuski

Trumper,

Sounds you are an old golfer like me, way to go.

It would be better to say i turned up and frightened bushes,trees and wildlife,unfortunately haven't played since we had kids,blimey 15 years ago,ought to get back into it

[5./JG27.Farber]

Originally Posted by Trumper

It would be better to say i turned up and frightened bushes,trees and wildlife,unfortunately haven't played since we had kids,blimey 15 years ago,ought to get back into it

Thats women for you, always telling what is fun.

[RickRuski]

You have to Love the Irish.


One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon.He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.
"Could you taste this for me, please?"
The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.
"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy.
"No, not at all," says the chemist.

Wait for it----












"Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."

[Trumper]

Beer contains female hormones!
Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners
of beer within a one (1) hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,
yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally, and
Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered nec
Send this to the men you know
to warn them about drinking too much beer!