Friday joke!

[zapatista]

Australian joke

Ivan Milat (the notorious serial killer) walks into the forest with a backpacker one late afternoon

the backpacker say: "brrr spooky place this forest, bit creepy here"

ivan milat answers: "that's noting mate, i gotta walk out of here on my own"

[Robert]

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.




Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.




Q. What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
A. They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

[Raggz]

Originally Posted by Robert

Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.

LOL, now that's a good one

[swiss]

Originally Posted by Robert

Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.

You sure know how to wreck a joke.

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the
sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir?

We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie
for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95".

The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the
Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

[raaaid]

a guy is driving in his car when he sees a sign which says reduce to 100

then he sees a sign reduce to 50

oh well

then reduce to 20

hell 20 km/h?

then reduce to 10

oh god

WELCOME TO REDUCE

[addman]

Originally Posted by raaaid

a guy is driving in his car when he sees a sign which says reduce to 100

then he sees a sign reduce to 50

oh well

then reduce to 20

hell 20 km/h?

then reduce to 10

oh god

WELCOME TO REDUCE

lol

[raaaid]

i think its one of the 1st jokes i rememebr

i was told by my punisher teacher when i was six

[Robert]

Originally Posted by swiss

You sure know how to wreck a joke.

I like your version better, swiss. LOL Good build up with a funny pay off.

[Wolf_Rider]

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven, Sir.
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!!!
A very angry Teacher: Where do you get seven from?!?!?
A very angry Johnny: Because I've already got a $#%!#' cat at home!!!

[RickRuski]

On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say,
"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through."
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week or so later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said,
"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again.A few days later they were again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said,
"I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding that all long-married husbands possess, he replied, "Why don't you just leave the damb car in the garage this time?"