Yeah even barring the "ghost dot" problem, which is legitimately frustrating, it's very difficult to spot planes. Keep your eye on your opponent and it's often the difference between winning and losing. I don't think it needs much adjusting besides maybe a reflection tweak, not that I'm a pilot or anything, but it certainly shouldn't be easy and there are limits that technology presents. I think I'd rather it be too difficult than too easy. We don't play with icons on for a reason.
I'm sure I mosey on past 3 or 4 planes for every one I spot and/or engage, but then I get lucky sometimes too, seeing planes from a significant distance.
I too have noticed I have a keener eye for this sort of thing now. My girlfriend occasionally watches me play and usually can't see them even after I point them out. Not until I'm almost on top of them can she spot them often-times (less than 1km-ish anyway).