Horseback's 10 Commandments For AI

[horseback]

I originally wrote this for the Ubi forums back when Forgotten Battles was released, or around 2002 or '03; some of the commandments no longer apply and will be unfamiliar to some, but there are others that still make me want to go all Old Testament on somebody's butt.

Horseback’s 10 Commandments for AI

1. I am the PLAYER; I bought thee out of the Houses of Commerce and placed thee upon My Hard Drive. I have set thee free to fly, fight, and frolic upon My Monitor, and have nourished thee and provided many Patches, Upgrades, yea, and even Expansions for thine enlargement. For thou hast pleased Me greatly, in that thou immerseth Me in an Age of Legends, of which I have read and studied much, and yearn for with a great yearning, that I might test Mine own skills as a Knight of the Air.

2. My Immersion is thy reason for being, and there shall be no other goal before thee.

3. Thou shalt not set History upon its head. Thou shalt not perpetuate a Flight Model without an historical record, neither shall ye cater unto specious politically tainted flight tests. For I, the PLAYER, am a jealous player, and I knoweth my sh!t. Do not toy with My affections, lest ye lose My favor and custom.

4. Remember RL, and keep it Holy. Multiple sims art there which cater unto the Arcade Crowd, but Il-2, and then FB/AEP hath set a New Level, like unto that which was Real Life.

Sully not the purity of the pursuit of Truth, and stay on the paths of righteousness, for Immersion's sake.

5. Honor thy convergence ranges, and keep them constantly. For the PLAYER hath read his references, and knoweth that if thine convergences are set for 200m, thou canst not hit the broad side of a barn at 600 meters, most particularly with high deflection. This leadeth unto loss of Immersion, and on that path lieth destruction.

6. Thou shalt not steal the PLAYER's targets, for they are Holy. Neither shalt thou target any aircraft over, around, or through the PLAYER, for that is Vulching, and its pleasures are forbidden to the likes of you. Neither shall ye destroy any aircraft the PLAYER hath set afire or heavily smoking, or even halted the engine thereof, for they are disabled and shall surely die. Touch them not, lest ye share their ignoble fate.

7. Thou shalt proceed unto the target area at a cruise speed appropriate to thine aircraft type. Run not away from thine PLAYER wingman at speeds or climbs unattainable to Him, for He is the reason that ye existeth, and if He becometh frustrated and angry, arriving upon the scene of combat late and overheated to find all his enemies destroyed one time too many, nevermore shall ye frolic upon His Screen, nor shalt thine Creators gain further profit from His commerce.

8. Woe unto ye, AI gunners! For thou hast all displayed marksmanship like unto that boasted by Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier, who didst slay bears, mountain lions and the odd raccoon from over 800m with but a single shot, of which his comrades did say, "Davy doth tell the Tall Tales yet again, but as long as he buyeth the beer, we care not."

Ye buyeth not a single sixpack for the PLAYER, and He tires of thine unrealistic bull droppings! He careth not for 'scale' or other such specious arguments for lo, it is written in the Chronicles of the Aces that aircraft gunners were mere mortals with limited gunnery skills even within 200 meters' range, wherefore multipassenger aircraft were Easy Meat, and eagerly sought after in preference to their more dangerous single seat brethren.

Therefore, thou shouldst never kill the PLAYER or disable his engine from greater than 300 meters, nor even from within that range more than one out of three times, and thy reaction to his entry into thy cone of fire should henceforth be measured in more human seconds rather than nanoseconds.

9. Remember the FM, and keep it all of your days. Even if thou art an ACE AI, thou art still only AI, and exist only for the PLAYER's entertainment. Thou shalt not lessen the PLAYER's FM by thine presence, for thou art an Ace, not a friggin' vampire, neither shall ye do that which is impossible for thine assigned aircraft, for to do so is horse sh!t, which is even more malicious & despicable than that of chickens, which are rightly despised for their noxious end products.

10. Thou shalt not exercise knowledge of an approaching PLAYER from outside a RL Field of View, neither shalt thou ignore the approach of a PLAYER within a RL Field of View, especially one that leadeth unto a collision. Thou shalt also stop hiding behind the PLAYER's canopy frames, for it is impossible to do so in RL. To do these things is an abomination unto the PLAYER's eyes, which are limited to a measly 85 degrees FOV at most.

Know ye not that enemy AI existeth to be destroyed (within reason) by the PLAYER, and friendly AI existeth to help him in his campaign goals? To do otherwise is a great sin, and ultimately resulteth in being wiped from the Hard Drive of Life.

These are the Laws which are set forth for thee and thy descendents. Follow ye them, and ye shall enjoy many hours frolicking and flying upon the PLAYER's Monitor, and thou shalt find eternal rest in His Hard Drive.

cheers

horseback

[Monty_Thrud]

Dang!, i'm getting old. i remember this first time round, good days indeed and most peculiar mama.

OMG!...i just discovered a grey hair...unless it's just hyper blonde...

[Bearcat]

LOL.. yeah I remember that too..

In fact .... It was in 2004... almost 9 years to the day.. So what is this HB.. you start gettin all Moses like in August or what man....?

[Treetop64]

HB, you're not making any friends by reminding them of how old they are, OK?

[Pursuivant]

Originally Posted by horseback

I originally wrote this for the Ubi forums back when Forgotten Battles was released, or around 2002 or '03

Obviously, Oleg/1c were priests of Baal, or Zoroastrians, or Confucians, or something else, because they obviously didn't follow any of your 10 Commandments. To their immense credit, one of the first things that TD did was to try to make the IL2 AI Not Suck.

[Treetop64]

More like students of the Force as the AI used to have some rather awesome capabilities in the old days. TD has done a great job.

[horseback]

I'm still having issues with Commandments 3 (in certain cases), 5, 8, and 10, but I'm gonna fight the good fight (well, okay, mainly I'm gonna be a pain in the @ss about it). TD has done some very good work, but I'm a greedy old bastage with too much time on his hands.

As for your ages, Time eventually gets us all. It ain't the grey hair on my head that bothers me (or how little is left), it's the realization that my glasses are on the sixth different prescription since I started playing this game and that my 'trimming' thumb is getting arthritic...

cheers

horseback