it was a dark and stormy night. a black wind howled, bludgeoning those poor souls unlucky enough to find themselves out-of-doors. king's bounty hunter (hereafter referred to as "KBH") was oblivious to their privations, however, as he was safely ensconced like some real-life jabba the hutt in his mother's basement.
with the warm glow of the monitor reflecting off his coke-bottle glasses and the familiar hum of his cpu fan buzzing away, KBH was indeed in his element. busy shoveling cheezy poofs into his cavernous gullet by the fistful with one hand and madly clicking his mouse with the other (all the while trying to avoid fat-fingering mouse2 with his plump, sausage-like index finger), he pays no attention as his cheezy poof hand absently scratches his tighty-whitey clad hindquarters, creating a jackson pollockesque splash of fluorescent orange to contrast violently with old brown and yellow stains.
suddenly, his eyelids, making a heroic effort to fly open, strain mightily against the porcine flesh of his face. "NNUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO," he cries, spittle flying out of his mouth in viscous strands to land limply on his monitor. how could this have happened?!? day 47 rolled by on the monitor, marking yet another easy-mode completion in KB:TL. furious, KBH lets loose an incoherent scream, prompting his mother to stomp on the floor. "THOSE CHEATERS...DONE IN UNDER 25 DAYS ON IMPOSSIBLE?!? INCONCEEEEEEEEEIVABLE!, he yells as he angrily clicks on his internet explorer button, hitting his bookmark for the 1C forums. hot tears of fury and shame mixing with his running nose in a slow river down his face, KBH mutters darkly, "i'll expose those cheating bastards on the forums...if the great blackwolf the dragonmaster can't do it, NOBODY CAN (because my mommy says i'm special)." [cue camera fade]
face it, kbh...you're terribad and a whiner to boot. just because you're too stupid to make it work (yes, stupid...because this game requires no skill, just a bit of intelligence and a bit of luck) doesn't mean it can't be done.
judging from your psychological profile, there's an 99.6% (repeating, of course) chance you're a rager IRL. wipe that foam off your mouth kid, it's just a game.
-mice
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