[brando]

I just heard that I will be going into hospital next month to undergo a procedure known as Deep Brain Stimulation. A surgical team will bolt a metal halo to my skull and scan my brain using several different methods to produce a stereotactic image. On the next day they will implant two micro-electrodes deep in the two areas that have been observed to regulate pain signals and then wake me up and switch me on.
Hopefully; well, many things
1) they're not running their computers on Vista
2) I don't wake up to a BSOD
3) it does something to alleviate this sensation of having my hand immersed in a chip-fryer! It's twelve years now and I've about had enough. It's bad and made even worse as it's felt in the hand and arm that I no longer have.

Pain as we mostly know is part of the body's involuntary defences. Put your hand in a chip-fryer and you'll pull it out again pdq as soon as you feel pain. Various mechanisms kick in as the body tries to escape: adrenalin surges, like when people will shift weights that they could never lift in normal circumstances, and natural endorphins flood the system to reduce pain and increase survival chances. It's a common theme of agricultural accidents. Last one around here was a guy who drove 20 miles with his severed arm still in the bale of hay that the machine had been making when he got trapped!

I won't go on. It's a pretty desperate situation and I'm willing to undergo this radical, leading-edge intervention if there's half a chance of receiving some relief that might make living easier. Even if I could stop using the drugs that turn my memory into a colander it would be positive.

It's funny to think that I might be running a dual-core brain if I make it back from this tricky mission. It's more alarming to think that I might not come back at all.

So I came here to say 'au revoir' to the people that I've flown with, argued at, and generally spent time enjoying IL2 with. I especially want to thank Oleg for the inspiration that set him off on producing what must be the best combat prop-sim ever made and all the unselfish time he's put in to support it, and the same thanks goes to the whole dev team that brought it about. Maybe someone here will pass that sentiment on for me?

I hope I make it back in better shape than I'm leaving. It's been fun all the way from the day I bought IL2 Sturmovik and I'd dearly like to be around for the rest of the ride.

Go well people

Brando