So, without wishing to debase your excellent and genuinely helpful post it seems that we need a 'leveller'. A means of ensuring that everyone can see a distant aircraft at a range that would allow RL-type tactics to be determined even if that means an unrealistic dot or LOD size but no dot beyond that. And I don't mean identifying what it is because the Mk1 eyeball will see a dot before it can be identified and tactics will have to be decided at that stage too.
Arguments about when the dot can be seen by different resolutions would then be meaningless as the range will always be the same and the opportunity for tactical choice will have been resolved. What other reason can there be for worrying about the dot visibility (e-peening apart)?
Of course this will lead to disappointment over realism but perhaps thats the choice: uniform maximum spotting capability with non-realistic dots/LoDs or more realistic non-uniform spotting capability with continued argument.
For me its the more realistic approach as I don't want such magnificent visuals marred by out of scale big dots (but hopefully improved in CoD). I'll take my chances agaiunst the low resolution "must see you first even if its not real" crowd. Or put another way, "I should be able to see you earlier than I can in 1280*1024 or greater resolution but I'm not willing to take you on on a level playing field so i'll magnify you". Shame on you