Keep in mind many online players have more than 10 years experience flying WWII combat sims, 8+ on IL2 alone, for some almost every day for several hours. These ones know their business, and can use their planes at their best. Those are the ones you can't reach, or outurn you in their 109, outrun you in their 190, kill you in one pass before you ever see them. They are even more dangerous when they hunt in horde, two or more planes against one is a fantastic advantage, even the best pilots struggle when caught outnumbered.
There's only one secret, practise and patience. While you experiment this, take a look at Il2 compare to see where your plane outperforms your foe's. For the SpitIX, it's best feature is its turning ability in the 300/330kph band. When turning, stay in this speed range, while slightly nosing down, and no German plane will outurn you, even the mighty 109F2/F4/G2. Don't run after a FW190 when he runs, climb instead. If he reengages he is then lower, you have the energy to catch him with a dive.
Note also that the Spit is one of the hardest planes to aim with, due to the position of its MGs and Cannons. Fire near convergence or aim only with one wing if you're much closer, don't fire at all if the target is much further, you'd waste your ammo for no result.
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