Guys, guys, guys, guys.... You get a new potential pilot to your dwindling community looking to find games, and instead of posting positively about how to go about getting into the online action, you post doom and gloom about the game's problems...? It took 5 or 6 posts for the OP to get the sort of answer he needed from SEE and trk (+1 there fellas).
As these guys said, the problem is the lobby system - games can last a while and you can't see them to join if they are underway. What you need to do, unfortunately, is add people who are still active on the game and join them, or get an invite from them.
I would have hoped more active XBox guys would have just posted their gamertags for you to add and get in on the action. Add SEE (trk and myself are on PS3) then try hard to get into a game with him. And when you do, add everyone in the game. This effect will snowball if you keep adding guys you find in games.
The game is great fun online, although you might find getting kills frustrating at first. Stick with it though - there is definitely a lot of fun to be had. Good luck
